One Year

We marked our first year on Irish soil at approximately 11 a.m. on August 9.  To celebrate, we partook of one my favorite celebratory activities:  Going out to eat.

In the Carrickmines shopping centre, there's a restaurant called Barry & Browne.  It's quite small but even so, it would always be packed whenever we saw it, which is typically a good indication of the quality of the food and ambiance.

I had as yet to experience a full Irish breakfast, and I figured there was no better time than our one-year anniversary.  A "full Irish" can have a few variations but it typically consists of eggs, toast, beans, potatoes, bacon, sausage, white pudding, and black pudding (sometimes there are mushrooms but my version did not include this).  I also ordered some garlic parmesan fries to round out the meal.

Here's a photo of my feast:

Hidden beneath the eggs is the bacon.  In Ireland, bacon is called a rasher (rasher can also indicate the amount of bacon, e.g. one piece).  It's a slice of back bacon and different from a strip of bacon (here, the strips of bacon that most Americans are familiar with are called "streaky bacon").

The two round sausage-patty-looking items are the white pudding (which is brown) and the black pudding (which is black).  As you have no doubt guessed, "pudding" means something different here as well.  The word is thought to be derived from the Old French word "boudin" which referred to encased ingredients like a sausage.  Pudding typically consists of oatmeal, onions, spices, suet/fat, and sometimes pork.  Black pudding has an extra ingredient:  Blood.

Yes, they add blood to the mix for black pudding.

I eat meat which, of course, contained blood at some point.  However, unless I were eating prime rib, my hamburger or steak would not be drenched in blood.

As I was eating the black pudding, the thing that kept going through my mind, getting louder and louder, was "They add blood to this.  They add blood to this.  THEY FREAKIN' ADD BLOOD TO THIS!"  That turned my stomach a bit, and I only wound up consuming half of the patty.  But now I can say that I've tried black pudding, and I know I don't want to eat it ever again if I can help it.

Apart from that, my meal was really good.  I can't comment on the beans, however, because those got shuffled over to the vegetarian at the table (Eli).

After we got home, we talked about our successes and challenges of being here for a year.  We also talked about what we've liked so far.  (My friend Leanne once asked me what my favorite thing has been so far and what I'm looking forward to doing in the future, so I'll also answer that here.)

My biggest challenge was probably my relocation depression.  Everything was alien to me, I was cut off from any nearby supports (besides Eli), and I felt as though I were trying to take root in hostile soil.  Nothing felt familiar or safe.  In looking back through my blog, I remembered being terrified to ride the tram one stop to the small grocery store in our sister building.

I recall with great clarity one evening in December, nearing the holidays.  I was alone in the apartment (Eli was still at work).  It was about 4 p.m., and it was dark.  (I'm not kidding - in the winter, it gets dark here very early.)  I started to feel suffocated by my isolation.  As I sat on the couch, I looked out the window, across the courtyard.  In the building opposite my position, one of the apartments had their blinds open so I could see people sitting around a table.  The lights of their Christmas tree twinkled across the darkness, and I noticed one person playing with a toddler.  And...I don't know.  For a moment or two, I suddenly didn't feel quite so alone.  Granted, I still had many more weeks of working through depression and feeling unsettled but ever so briefly, things were okay.

More mundane challenges have been trying to find a job.  A few weeks after we arrived, I actually had two interviews with the local Make-a-Wish chapter which is 10 minutes away via tram.  I felt pretty good about it - but they went with another candidate.  I'm being a bit more discerning about my job hunt.  I'm trying to find a position where I'll actually enjoy the job - not just do it because I CAN do it.

I also sometimes have great difficulty understanding someone with a heavy accent.  This has always been an issue for me, and I hate talking on the phone because that increases my inability to figure out what someone is saying.  I'm hoping that as I'm here longer, my comprehension will improve.

Trying to get accustomed to the weather has been interesting.  Sometimes it's windy as hell here.  One time, Eli was coming home from the grocery store.  He got off the tram and as he was walking toward the apartment building, one of his bags of chips (sorry, crisps) got sucked out of a shopping bag and was gone in a flash.  In the summer when the sun is out, it feels like it's right on top of you and any warm day is difficult since houses don't have air conditioning and some, like ours, don't even have a blower to move air around inside.  It's been amusing because at times, I'll be out in a T-shirt and shorts and some of the people around me are wearing heavy puffer jackets or parkas.

My successes have included not being terrified of riding the tram anymore!  When there's been a glitch in tram service while I've been out and about, I have a momentary flash of panic and then I start looking for an alternate way home.  I'm not as comfortable in regards to the bus as trying to figure out routes can be a little confusing.

I'm also starting to feel more settled here.  Things don't seem quite as foreign.  Of course, moving to a new place set me back a bit because I'm having to learn the rhythms of a new home and new surrounding.  However, I don't have the added stress of learning my way around a new country so that's helped the process go a bit more smoothly.

As for the things I've enjoyed about being here, first and foremost is that I'm not in the US right now.  Don't get me wrong - I am still very much impacted emotionally by the clusterfuckery that's going on across the pond, but it's nice not to be stuck in the middle of it.  There are racist idiots everywhere, including Ireland, but I'm not inundated by it here.  Also refreshing is the fact that "gun culture" is not a thing here.  Random violence can happen anywhere, but I don't really fear being gunned down at the store or the library.

Another nice thing is that we're very close to the sea.  On our walk to/from the tram platform, we can look out and actually see the expanse of water.  That's pretty cool.

Ireland has very good island-wide transport and, with it being relatively small, you can get from the east coast to the west coast by train in about 2.5 or 3 hours.  One of the things I'm looking forward to is being able to do more exploring and learning more about the places and history that make up this country.

Our journey here seems like a fuzzy blur or, as Eli has said, seems like it happened to someone else.  I'm glad we both documented the move, but I admit it gives me some anxiety when I re-read those chronicles, brings back the immense stress we endured to get here.

I do miss my home state from time to time.  I follow some Minnesota folks on the socials, and I feel a little pang when someone posts a photo of Lake Superior or talks about all the great food at the State Fair.

It was still dark when I got up this morning.  I pulled the window shade aside and glanced up at the lightening sky.  There was Orion, shining brightly in the inky blue-black darkness.  I remember standing outside in Minnesota, looking up to see the stars, always happy when I could find Orion.  Seeing the same constellation here reminded me that I'm not as far from home as I think.